Photos of the 1966 era Linda Lovely are few and hard to come by. But, I found this rare snapshot taken at my sister’s house, Thanksgiving Day of that year. In my obsessive quest to display the babes of the Haight-Ashbury, how can I ignore Linda Cartwright Newton, my main sixties squeeze, mother of my first child and bane of my life? Of course, should you ask her about our stormy marriage, she might argue I was the bane of her life. You never know. Women are so perverse!
Linda and I spent more time apart than together in those crazy years, which is why she so rarely intrudes into these calm and serene recollections. But, in the day, it was not so.
You must admit, she is an authentic glamor puss. Linda has dressed conservatively for this family occasion. And why shouldn’t she? Look at my father, to her right – he’s comfortable wearing a business suit and a dress shirt tightly buttoned at the collar. Yet his only plan for the day is to relax at his daughter’s house, trade comic insults with his son-in-law’s father, drink martinis and eat turkey.
The Pig, of course, shows no such social inhibitions. Just out of camera range he is clowning for the children in velvets, lace and cherry-red wax lips.
Detectives, if you look closely at Linda’s ensemble, you will notice that telltale sign of sin and debauchery in the Haight-Ashbury: beads! Hand-strung beads! They’re always a giveaway, fellow detectives. They can hide their drugs, but they can never hide their beads. It’s in their genetic code!
(For those who complain I never display the sixties beauty of my glorious Russian princess bride Patrushka…good things come to those who wait, ok?)
You wanna hear something strange? Today, forty years after that tempestuous age, Linda Lovely and Patrushka are the best of friends. I have nowhere to hide! I ask you, is this right?