Kurt Cobain Starring as Walrus Pemmican

I’ve been perfectly content here in my little pigpen in the north, gazing out the window at the little robinses pulling their worms and typing away at chapter 38 of the Longest Novel Ever Written, The Syndicate of Eternal Friendship. Trouble is my no good pals from the Twelfth Street Gang keep throwing pebbles at my window. They want me to come out and show them card tricks.

So, in an effort to quench their card trick ardor, I’ve agreed to post a post. And since I can’t think of anything much beyond the Syndicate of Eternal Friendship, here is a bit of casting for the movie version of the novel:

Kurt Cobain as Walrus

Walrus Pemmican (not his real name, of course) is an All-American kid, except he’s Canadian, from Salt Spring Island off the coast of Vancouver. His folks run a little resort up there, and he grew up teaching sailing and sea kayacking to the guests and lifeguarding for them during the summers. Gulf Islands Consolidated High School won the provincial basketball title both years Walrus played forward for them. When he was sixteen, he rebuilt a 1950 500cc Norton and roared up and down the logging roads of the island for something to do. After graduation, his folks sent him to his Dad’s alma mater, Reed College in Portland. He lasted two years before dropping out to thumb back and forth across America seeking the meaning of life. In November of 1964, he landed in San Francisco’s burgeoning Haight-Ashbury district, where he has lived for the last four months with a group of friends known to local freaks as The Syndicate of Eternal Friendship. When you’re 22, four months is plenty long enough to form eternal friendships.


2 thoughts on “Kurt Cobain Starring as Walrus Pemmican

  1. I hear tell that Cobain’s ashes have been stolen from Courtney’s house and that Keith Richards is being sought for questioning. A bad turn of events, I’d say, given the fact he’s gonna star in a movie. Kurt, not Keith.


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