Drivel Takes Many Forms

I guess it’s time to redefine the blog again. I’ve got to get modern, up-to-date. I should write about about 1966 instead of 1965. Yeah! LSD, DMT, ABC, XYZ, all those unelectable but ineluctable substances were just coming into fashion. Bell-bottom hip-huggers were decidedly cool if worn with cowboy boots and no shirt.

But who would read drivel like that? I wouldn’t.

OK, how about politics? I could write a pro-Hillary blog. Go, Hillary! That would rile most of my readers but good. They would come by the thousands to be annoyed. Trouble is, I’m more of an Obama man at the moment. But I still think a woman president would be a good thing. And she’s no more of a crook than I am. Oh oh, did I say that?

Actually, all presidential hopefuls are either crooks or run by crooks. It’s one of those axioms you can live by. So don’t look too deeply into Obama’s past if you want to keep your dreams intact.

Look at good old plain-talking, straight-dealing Harry Truman. (Who? Children, he was president a long time ago, ok?) Harry was honest as old Abe, yet he emerged from the crookedest political machine in America – Kansas City under Boss Tom Pendergast. Truman got his start as Boss Tom’s poster boy City Commissioner for honesty and integrity while he conscientiously looked the other way at the protected rackets and gravy-trains of city money leaving City Hall.

So you say politics is not my metier? Not even my forte? Well, How about old movies? I would only write about actors and films you never heard of, like most reviewers do. Here’s one of my favorites: Run Wild In The Streets!

It’s about a band of talking farm animals who escape their dreary farm in upstate New York to raise havoc and cain rambling south to Florida. They’re looking for palm trees, cocos-de-mer, and banana audacities, the more the better. That’s their motivation, see? But to get there, they have to sneak through Big Town! Wait’ll you see what happens when they turn a corner and there’s Laurel and Hardy trying to move a piano across a tight rope bridge!

Run Wild stars Bob Hope as Charles The Rooster, Mr. Ed as Hank the talking horse, Marlon Brando as Chucky Cheese, John Travolta (in drag) as Mrs. Wiggins the cow, Arnold Schwarzenegger (before he became governor of course) as Tom Pendergast, Boss of Big Town, Rowan Atkinson as Mr. Bean and our own Pondering Pig as Freddy, leader of the tough animals. You’ll scream when they open their own cement company and have to take on the Rats!

I’m sure there’s lots to write about when I’m not writing Chapter 34 of The Syndicate of Eternal Friendship, which is what I should be doing right now. I’ll keep thinking about it. Oh! How about the global warming? Iraq? Comic books! I’ll keep thinking about it.

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