Continued from yesterday…
The Pondering Pig is reporting from the Heavenly Avalon Ballroom, where Janis Joplin, backed by The Raelettes and the Paul Butterfield Blues Band, is wailing on Psalm Four. They’re up to the second chorus, which goes like this:
But know that the Lord has set apart the faithful for himself; the LORD hears when I call to him.
When you are disturbed, do not sin; ponder it on your beds, and be silent. Selah
Wait a minute, folks. There’s a commotion up front. Let me try to get a clearer view. A little guy has climbed onstage and is taking the mike from Janis Joplin. Let’s see if I can make it out. Wait – it appears to be…the actual voice of Janis Joplin’s conscience! And he looks just like Jiminy Cricket! OK, Janis is looking surprized but she’s going to listen too.
“But know that the LORD has set apart the faithful for himself… The Lord hears when I call to him. Too bad for you, girl. He don’t talk to you no more cause you’re so vain Carly Simon wrote a song about you.”
The Rent-a-cops are looking at each other wondering what to do. Should they let him keep whacking her with that little umbrella? After all, he IS Janis’ conscience. Or should they carry him offstage? Meanwhile, Jiminy keeps going.
“What you doin’ up here screamin’ at God like that? When you are disturbed, do not sin; ponder it on your beds, and be silent. And that goes for all of you out in the audience, too! How do you deal with your anger? You look so cute in your love beads and Indian headbands but I can see what goes on in your hearts. You think I can’t? Like you there in front with the guru shirt and the beatific smile. You found out your girl is sleeping with your best friend and when you’re on your bed you’re pondering bashing in the windows of his car with a baseball bat! Grow up! Revenge just adds to the suffering in this world.
“And what about you, Suzie Creamcheese with your long straight hair and granny glasses and paisley minidress? Everything’s so groovy but God sets the faithful apart for himself. Who or what are you faithful to? Grooviness?”
Man, this cricket is a drag. Somebody get the hook! He’s bringing the whole show down. Who would have thought Janis had a conscience!
Selah means the band’s got to blow, but, like the security guys, they’re looking at each other like ‘what do we do now?’ Paul Butterfield throws out some tentative harp licks based on Sonny Boy Wiliamson’s Let Your Conscience Be Your Guide and it kind of works. Mike and Elvin pick up the tune but they continue to throw puzzled looks at each other. Like ‘I thought we were playing Answer me when I call O God!’
Continued next post.