A Pig Ponders Gays, Straights, Adultery and Divorce

As you probably know by now, the Pondering Pig is a conservative, evangelical, Bible-thumping kind of a pig. However, as he thumps the Bible, he often wonders what it says inside, and sometimes actually opens it and reads it. That’s why I’ve come to have some thoughts on the title subjects. Such as…

Why is it that my branch of the church makes such a big fuss about gays? We don’t approve of them. We think they’re perverted. We think they’re…gasp!…SINNERS! Horrible sinners – just like the rest of us.

Sometimes I suspect we get in such a huff about homosexuality because we, as a group, don’t practice it. And, as a general rule, we don’t discuss adultery and divorce in the church setting because…well,…ahem…

You know what? Jesus never says one word about homosexuality per se. As a sin, it’s not even on the radar for him. But what he is REALLY on about, when he does talk about the ways we destroy each other, is A&D – adultery and divorce. And I would go so far as to say that gay or straight, fat or thin, rich or poor, these are evils we are all capable of or guilty of.

I read somewhere that the divorce rate among church-going Christians and the rest of America is exactly the same. No difference. Yet where are the churches making marriage counseling the number one outreach to their own congregations? If your church is doing it, please write in and restore my faith.

Jesus really doesn’t like divorce. And adultery – it’s a cause or a symptom of a marriage under destruction. I personally expand the definition of adultery to mean the act of lying to and cheating someone who loves and trusts you. Really not a good thing, whether practiced by gays or straights.

I believe God places a very high value on fidelity. “I will sing of your steadfast forever love forever.” What are these, mere words? In every sphere of our lives. Doing what you say you’re going to do. Committing yourself to one true heart forever. Believe me, kids – that’s the way to Paradise. And I’m not okay with the real world. I’ve already seen it and it sucks. I want Paradise NOW, is that too much to ask?

I only wish I met my dearest Patrushka when I was eighteen, that we had pledged our forever love right then. Believe me, I would gladly forego all the experiences I had on the bitter streets of my youth for one night in her arms.

The Pondering Pig is not a philosophical pig. More of a beatnik poet I guess. I start off writing an intellectual article but the pose gets tedious and out comes the pig’s beating heart. I think it was my fellow beatnik poet Stevie Wonder who wrote…

I was born in Little Rock
Had a childhood sweetheart
We were always hand in hand

I wore high-top shoes and shirttails
Susie was in pigtails
I knew I loved her even then

You know my papa disapproved it
My mama boo-hoo-hooed it
But I told them time and time again

Don’t you know I was made to love her
Build my world all around her, yeah
Hey, hey, hey

She’s been my inspiration
Showed appreciation
For the love I gave her through the years

Like a sweet magnolia tree
My love blossomed tenderly
My life grew sweeter through the years

I was made to love her
I was made to love her
Hey, hey, hey

The Pig of the Sorrow of the World begs compassion for all us poor suckers who never understood we were made to love one person forever, but just have to tough it out.

I really don’t know from gays and straights. I know God made us male and female and all that – and it’s weird that some of are born or through early experiences get put together differently. I can’t grok it, but I know what Jesus is very clear about — lifelong fidelity to the one you were made to love is the road further for most of us. And living a celibate, God-focused life is the road further for a few of us. But that in-between place goes nowhere for no one, in spite of what the world tells us every minute of the day.

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One thought on “A Pig Ponders Gays, Straights, Adultery and Divorce

  1. Dear PP – That photo of your parents gaily dancing made my day. I’d just spent hours slogging around in the rain, killing time while my mechanic fixed the brakes on my 22 year old car. The drive home was harrowing with flooded freeways. I got home frazzled and grumbling. But then, I saw you mom and pop and everything changed.Thanks, Carioca


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